Daughterhood,  Musings

four years down the road — part two

So, why didn’t I go to college? This is actually quite a popular question, with only one question being asked more frequently: “What are you actually doing?”

I touched on the why a bit in my last post (part one, which you can read HERE), but I’d like to get a bit more specific than simply answering the “why not’s”  I can answer this rather simply: it just wasn’t the Lord’s best for my life. This decision, surprisingly, had nothing to do with my parents telling me what I was going to do, forbidding college, or refusing to allow me to mature :D It was actually something that I studied out, reading Scriptures, and committed to prayer, for many years before my actual graduation.

I won’t go into many details about how the Lord changed my ideas (I went into plenty of detail HERE), but in short I went from being a selfish, headstrong, stubborn girl who was insistent that I was going to live my life the way I wanted to, to submitting my life into the Lord’s hands for Him to mold into what He wanted to make me.

I didn’t go to college because I felt as if college was over-rated. It seemed to me then — and still does, today — that we as Americans, and especially as Christians, don’t fully think through this decision. Almost everybody else graduates from high school and goes on to college, so we just go with the flow. I didn’t want to be part of the “norm” — there really wasn’t any reason for it. I want to be a stay at home wife, one day, Lord willing, and a stay at home mother, if the Lord blesses me with children of my own. There isn’t a college degree for this; the best way to learn is through experience. What better place to get a hands-on education of caring for children, cooking meals, cleaning house, and balancing a myriad of other duties than to stay at home and help my mother?

I didn’t go to college because I didn’t want to be exposed to so much sin. Even Christian colleges have a sin problem — when you get a bunch of sinners together in the same place, with no parents, no accountability, freedom to do what you want when you want…..well, you pretty much have a recipe for disaster right there. Mix into it the factor that you have guys and girls running around together, and you are going to wake up one day and realize that you have serious regrets. Even at Christian colleges things can spiral out of control extremely quickly — I have heard so very many stories about this.

Couple that with the knowledge gleaned, the humanistic books, the evolution and Darwinism and communism and all the other “isms” — and I wanted no part of it. There wasn’t a reason to immerse myself in such studies.

Now, with that being said, there is absolutely a time and a place for college. Absolutely. I can assure you, I will not use a doctor who doesn’t have a degree in medicine, and I don’t know many people who would. I don’t want a dentist working on my teeth who doesn’t have a piece of paper letting me know that he graduated with enough learning to be trusted. I could go on, but I think you get my point. If you are assured that God is calling you to do something, and you will need a degree to get it done, than go for it! For me, personally, there was no reason for it. For someone else, there might be.

I am not assured that there is a clear command in Scripture about “thou shalt not go to college” — and therefore, I don’t think it sinful. It’s not an option I personally want to pursue because it wouldn’t be beneficial in the long run for me. 

As I stated earlier, the most popular question I am asked is what I am doing. If I am not in college, how am I spending my time?

This one is alway a bit more complicated to answer.

There are a myriad of reasons and ways to stay at home after high school. Some girls go get a job, simply crashing at their parents home. Some girls spend all their time volunteering at crisis pregnancy centers. Some are authors. Some are musicians. Some are artists.

Some girls live at home while paying for their keep, some live at home under the support of their fathers.

Which is why this question is so complicated. I always wonder if the person I am talking to wants to know what my day-to-day life looks like, what “big things” I am doing, how I am earning income if I am at home……and the list goes on :D

Daily life varies. Normally somewhere in the week I am doing laundry (Mondays), teaching the little ones (Fridays), helping with math every day of the week (sporadically in the summer), and writing on this blog (Wednesdays, usually). I am normally outside in the garden most mornings when the weather is clear, and beta reading different books and short stories for various authors, as well as trying to stay on top of my reading list. Cooking meals when I get into the kitchen before the other girls is something I enjoy doing, and I try to carve out time for piano playing and studying various aspects of midwifery and doulas.

Mixed in with daily life, I have a ton of other projects going on. Trying to establish a small bakery selling decorated sugar cookies (pictures coming soon!) from home, researching and creating toxin-free, all natural cosmetics (success after many tries!) refurbishing old furniture, celebrating at least one birthday a month from March ’til November, writing various articles for different sources, researching outlets for free lance writing (any suggestions??) and working on another writing project that I have going as I have time. I am also looking into and praying about getting  CNA certification, and am studying towards that end to make any testing and classes easier. This is one of the things I actually told Mama I wanted to do when I first graduated, and through various circumstances I was never able to fully pursue it, although I have gotten hands-on learning from all the various hospital visits and rehab centers I have been in :D Once the nurses find out, most are willing to teach me something. One lady was even going to let me pull staples out of my grandfather after his last operation — if I was sure it wouldn’t have hurt him, I would’ve done it, but since I didn’t know, I lost that chance…=) I am able to spend time with my grandparents often, which I am immensely thankful for. I have had times of working with different political campaigns and grassroots programs, supporting and educating others about different amendments and laws and such that are being created and voted upon.

By God’s grace alone, I will strive to glorify Him in these days at home. I will run and not grow weary, I will praise Him even when I am tired, and I will continue to learn what He would have me to learn.

Apparently I have a lot of thoughts on this topic of not going to college. Sometime in the near future I will post a part three of what I have learned so far…:D

What are your thoughts? Any questions?

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I am a 23 year old young lady who is redeemed and saved from my sin only by the grace of God. A bibliophile at heart with a love of history who desires to see the Word of God practically applied to all aspects of our daily lives -- in our homes, in the grocery store, in the political realm. I strive to put my jumbled, chaotic thoughts down onto paper -- reducing them into black and white rows, letters, sentences. Into some semblance of sanity. And I share them here with all of you, where I can challenge you, make you think, and cause you to ask questions. I am the oldest of eleven children living the country life in the deep south.


  • Liberty

    Hey Kaitlyn, AMAZING post! This was soooo helpful to me because I face all the same questions, all of the time.

    “Aren’t you going to college?”

    “No, I’m going to be a homemaker.”

    Blank stare + “so what” kind of a look = end of conversation

    But seriously, the points you mentioned helped me clarify in my mind–and thus be able to better communicate to others–WHY I’m not going to college. In particular the things you said that resonated with me most:

    “I didn’t go to college because I felt as if college was over-rated.” (How do you explain that to your friends who ARE going to college?)

    “Couple that with the knowledge gleaned, the humanistic books, the evolution and Darwinism and communism and all the other “isms” — and I wanted no part of it. There wasn’t a reason to immerse myself in such studies.” (EXACTLY)

    “For me, personally, there was no reason for it. For someone else, there might be.” (Precisely my feelings.)

    “Researching outlets for freelance writing (any suggestions??)” (I’m a freelancer too!
    And I thought you might like my List of Blogs/Magazines that Pay for articles. It’s just a document I made that lists pay rates and includes direct links to Submission pages–and I built a private page on my site to share it with you (any any of your interested readers) here: https://www.queensofgrace.com/blogs-that-pay )

    Thanks so much for the enlightening and encouraging article!


    • Kaitlyn S.

      Thank you SO much for these suggestions! Now that I am home, I’ve time to glance over them, and am about to look more thoroughly through them. Some of them I’ve heard of, some I haven’t =) I also need to look through your website a bit more, ’cause I barely have had time to glance at it, but it looks really interesting!

      I’m glad that this was helpful to you — I wrote it to help get my own thoughts in order, ’cause all of a sudden it felt like I was getting a LOT of questions. I answer the friends I have who are in college depending on their attitude, actually. If they think they have the only right position, I might be just a bit more blunt with them and just say that college is over-rated, and going to college and getting a degree isn’t necessarily going to make you smarter than everyone else around you. I know several people with college degrees who are working at restaurants serving tables, but I also know some who have never been to college who are developing computer software for government contracts….and my point is normally proven =)

      Otherwise, I just explain that it wasn’t the Lord’s plan for me. I don’t *need* college for what I want to do right now. And if I did, there are actually plenty of online classes you can take for several things. Even medically speaking, you can study on your own, take one or two years of the “hands-on” classes, and graduate with honours as a fully certified doctor. I actually know a young man who is studying to be a pediatrician who is 21 — he’ll enter his residency either this year or next and be completely done by the time he’s 26. Which is young for a doctor. So there are other options besides a brick and mortar college, that might just be a safer environment.

      Anyways….that was a long answer =) Thank you so much for your many encouraging comments — they always make my day!

  • Lydia Howe

    If I ever get asked why I didn’t go to college, I generally am just like “I didn’t need college for what I want to do in life (be an author), but I still have been working on furthering my education.” And that’s (thankfully!) generally enough for most people I know. ;)

    • Kaitlyn S.

      I wish it were so for me, as well — but where we live there aren’t many who have chosen to stay home. And I am the oldest in the family, and consequently the first one to not go off somewhere….so people think it a bit strange :D It would be so nice if people down here would let that answer suffice!

  • Bekah

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I enjoyed reading them. I haven’t gone to college, either. (I would definitely agree with you that there’s a time and place for that. ;) ) But with what I desire to do one day, I don’t really need a degree. :) And i’m still very busy like you are without being in college. I’m thankful I can focus on the things God has given me to do.

    Thanks for posting!

    • Kaitlyn S.

      I am *so* thankful that the Lord has me where I can keep my mind on what He would have me to do each day! It is definitely a blessing! Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

What are your thoughts?

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