I’d like to share with you some of the things I am learning as I am away from my family for the indefinite future, in the hopes that it will encourage you and possibly learn some things easier than I have.
For those of you who know my family and I, you know that we are close. We are almost never separated from each other, and when we are it is only for a short time out of the day. No, we aren’t the perfect family, but we are a family. A group of people who live together and laugh together and dream together and love each other as best we can with our sinful hearts.
I am with my grandparents. Helping out while my grandmother recovers from an operation, and I have TERRIBLY missed everyone. But God is good, and I am learning immensely….lessons that I most likely would not learn at home. These are written down in no particular order, just as they come to mind….
The routine you have at home matters. Yes, stubborn me can even see this. The way Mom runs our home is orderly and makes sense….and is the way that I default to up here at Grandma’s. Straighten the house before bed. Fold and put away all laundry before bed. Make the bed before you leave the bedroom.
Have a life-purpose bigger than your home. If your purpose in this life is to complete your to-do list and go have fun, then you are in trouble. If the fulfillment in your life comes only in being busy in your home or your church, consider what will happen when you are away from both of those. How will you feel? What will you do?
If the only purpose I have for my days at home is to make it through each task in the hopes that I can “prove” how good and capable I am, what will I do? My purpose must be bigger. I HAVE to realize that my only purpose in this life is to glorify God. To allow Him to use me for His glory and be willing for Him to do that no matter what. If that means I am serving my grandparents, or serving my own home, or serving a friend, or a husband, or my own children.
Have a purpose bigger than marriage. This is a big one, for many of us. Listen up, ladies — marriage is wonderful and beautiful and exciting. But we must realize that it is not the crowning success of our days. This is what I have been learning for years, and especially this last year. Singleness can be just as “good” as marriage. We can’t sit back and repine because we aren’t married by eighteen. Life will go on, and we must fulfill the task the Creator of mankind has for us to do.
If I were married right now, I couldn’t be up with my grandparents now, spending time and creating precious memories with them. I told my sister the other week that I felt such peace not being married right now. I KNOW that it is God’s will for me at this point in my life, and I am content in that. Not that I have given up the desire to be married or to have children of my own one day. I just know without a doubt that it is not Gods plan for me right now.
Think of it this way. If my purpose in life is to praise and serve the Lord, I can do that right now, unmarried. If I am still unmarried when I am twenty-five, does that change anything? NO! My purpose in life is still to glorify God and praise and serve Him. If I am still single at forty, my life purpose is still the same. If I were to marry next year, my number one priority should still be to praise and glorify my Redeemer.
Have a good relationship with your siblings. I can’t stress this enough! Do you realize how important this is? Do you now how special it is to have a five year old sister squeezing you, reluctant to let you go? Or a three year old brother lift up his round little face for a kiss, squeezing your legs with his cute little arms? A brother drawing you beautiful pictures? A sister who comes to plan something with you and you talk for three hours straight? Pictures sent without asking of what everyone else is doing? Talking on the phone whenever, and feeling like you won’t ever run out of things to say? Seeing a cute, chubby baby’s smiling face, being the recipient of big slobery kisses, and sweet giggles and coos?
Guys, I tell you I do NOT deserve such love. Mostly we get along and have fun. But I am not perfect — I fuss at them, I complain to them, I tire of the noise and the wrestling and the messes. They do the same to me. We fight and squabble and have our differences. But I MISS THEM. Terribly. I told one sister the other day — the one I talked with for hours — that if one of us ever marries, the other one will have to make week long visits, planning on talking for days on end, and only doing something constructive the last few days =)
Learn how to cook for three people. ‘Cause three people don’t eat as much as thirteen =9 I am slowly learning. And asking questions. And making notes for my own home one day.
That’s what I have been learning and what the Lord has been dealing with me about. What are you learning?